i've been accused of fearing commitment
when i don't hold on to a girl i don't love anymore
but that just means you've never gone with me to the grocery store
and observed the fact that i purchase the same exact food year after year

i've been living with roaches for as long as i've had a rented home
and i don't sneak out on weekends to mingle amongst another species of insect
and if i did i'd miss the little critters, embracing with peaceful silence the unspoken pact
of being together through all the shit of daily life, of growing thin, and growing fat

i stuck by gmail through all the taunting of outlook or yahoo nerds
from the early days of its humble beginning
we stayed together, fattening, thinning
not because i was stubborn, but because i was in love

and now that i can afford a $20 bottle of vodka
i frequently encounter the questioning eyes of men and women
about why i still buy $10 gordons, vladimir, smirnoff, seagram
it's because my feelings is what makes me human
not following some pattern of actions that dr phil described in a book

and also i really can't afford a $20 bottle of vodka
and all the roaches make me want to burn down the damn building
and i don't leave women, i just torture them until they tell me that i'm leaving
and i watch the mast of the ship disappear under the bubbles of the lukewarm bathtub water