i'm waking up tomorrow morning
and thanking god that i'm not dead
smiling with gratitude till my face turns red
at the fact that i don't get migraines

and though i've tortured my liver
my sigmoid colon is cancer-free
i don't feel pain before, during, or after i pee
even if i visit with a particularly popular lady

how many years of such luck can i possibly have
no reason for young me to feel optimistic
i can savor the carrot or i can hide from the stick
or i can just skip the whole pathetic morning celebration