the point of purchasing an axe at walmart
may at first glance evade the innocent observer
well buddy you're not me, and you don't know her
sometimes an axe is the only argument she will allow for

it's not acceptable in most post-feminist american homes
to use such brute-force communication
but that's what the axe is for, to take back our nation
from the jaws of middle class kitchen impotency

i swing that bad boy with such maniacal frequency
that even the sweat droplets don't get a chance to fly
i know that by now you're probably asking "why?"
because a man is either a slave or a master
and never, except in death, can he find calm in this age of disaster