we never send hateful emails anymore
what happened to us, me an asshole, you a whore
did we wake up respectable beings
and decide to try and keep it up
so the screaming world may at once shut up

i don't think so, and you know
when the bars close, and the bell tolls
and the pizza joints are out of cheese
you'll be coming to me with an "i hate you" and "please"
and it always warms my heart to feel
something so bitter that it almost tastes real

and today for a million dollars
you wouldn't do what you've done a million times for free.
i can count on you to be an impulsive spoon-full
from a boiling pot of venomous snakes and cute furry hamsters