freaks in nine-year-old-ballerina-tight outfits
pink, black, and sweaty like a whorehouse
chugging down gallons of protein shakes
in a style that echoes their frat party days

the scene is set for simulated overdramatized battle
but if you cut through the cheese to the core of it
there is a man alone facing a challenge that could not be done
and just might be done if he puts every drop of his desire into it

i look down my water bottle
as if i'm looking into putin's soul.
some lame thought like "it's time to tear some muscle fabric"
but it's squats, all the way down, with three plates on each side

you can say death of a spouse
or the full realization of one's own death
is the test of a man. this only means that
you have never done squats properly to failure