don't talk suicide in social settings
when the intellectual merit of death is undervalued
and everyone's penis is an epic statue
whose shadow is cast in the form of a poorly-stated opinion

and don't give into the desire to keep tumbling down
the spiraling stairway of humor that has lived too long in isolation on the edge.
every time you want to screw with a blond's head, head for the fridge
and grab yourself another beer, i know it's hard, i've been there and failed

that's why my phone is usually on silent
and i only communicate with the world through facebook and technical publications
because if i were let out into the wild bar scene choking on stupid conversation
i would end up in mount over a a political junky and go home early with a wasted teenage slut

they don't make them like they used to
in the kitchen sink of my eastern european youth
sex behind every dumpster and inside every telephone booth
and the tails of our romantic distribution disinfected by alcohol