never has this couch seen
this type of elegant ease
i can drain a bottle on heater-less nights
my heart aching for such soulful antifreeze

some sort of european freedom
with a mundane question's tone
makes the saliva in my throat linger
on why she'd ever follow me home

thoughtful steps on beer-stained carpet
take me to when i was born
dust-covered pages of my upbringing
fear the day she'll let them turn

strong, unchanging, fearless shoulders
are the hills under my feet
sexist, racist, sisyphus boulders
drum down to the loveless beat

and i'm trapped between the weakest moment
of subtle beauty and carefree grace
and the tension of the same old hopeful comment
never spoken, but always chased