cheesecake does not entice a man of my convictions
so don't make a cute face as if to tempt me
you're only going to get a bad joke about the knights that say "nee"
and a plea for a texas steak with a side of blood, diet if they have it

to clarify, i do love it, unlike some (my father being one example)
the first taste of milk chocolate over the steam of fresh coffee made maddeningly sweet
will tighten the toe muscles of my sweating feet
as i resist not a sincere temptation but a simple longing for ephemeral gratification

i've run too many miles on vibrating treadmills
to orgasm at the thought of unwrapping the foil of a candy bar
just think how it would look when i've run so far
and concluded the experience by making myself fatter and significantly less mobile

i've heard many a skinny girl and large woman
proclaim that joy in life must supersede dietary restrictions
and if they indeed are happy, then i applaud the success of their autobiographical fiction
but to me food is a fuel not a drug that must be enjoyed in controlled portions

i write this "poem" over an apple, a coffee, and a bottle of diet coke
if at this moment, probably from stress, i suffered a stroke
and found myself on a hospital bed, i would be ready for the long battle ahead
since health has become not a kinky weekend trip, but a lifestyle and a vocation