Burning Bridges

“Man performs and engenders so much more than he can or should have to bear.  That’s how he finds that he can bear anything.” – William Faulkner

I hear about big and small teams splitting in BJJ and it always sounds like there is major disagreements and close relationships going cold in a blink of an eye.

I wonder why?

In either case, no matter how much animosity there is due to egos clashing, I feel it’s always worthwhile to suffer the weight of that tension and try to make things better, as opposed to giving up and “burning bridges”.

I hope I’ll have the strength to swallow pride as I go through life, through little bickering and major conflict, coming out on the other end with the same friends I started the journey with.

0 thoughts on “Burning Bridges

  1. Matt Marcinek

    Extremely difficult situation. Anyone who knows me knows that I am an extremely loyal person, almost to the point of fault. However, early in my judo career, I needed to make a decision I needed to decide if I should remain loyal to someone who had started to exploit myself, my talents, and my friends or if i should choose my own ego and put my own needs over the needs of the people in my club.

    Ultimately, I chose the latter. it was quite honestly one of the most gut wrenching decisions i have ever had to make. Was it the best decision for my club? No, as a matter of fact, that club has become virtually crippled after I made my decision.

    However, as a result of my choosing this avenue, Gracie NEPA Judo was born and I have never been happier.

    Do I feel bad about my decision? I’ll admit. sometimes I wish things could have been different. I sort of wish I could have had 1 instructor my entire career so 20-30 years from now i can talk about him in glowing terms like people do about Ogasawara or Yonezuka but do i regret my decision? NO! in the end, I did what i needed to be done and I ultimately stayed loyal to who i needed to stay loyal to.

    so, yeah, it stinks but sometimes swallowing your pride will just get you poisoned

    1. Lex Post author

      Thanks for sharing, brother. I had to make the same difficult decision several times in my life. It’s always hard to close a chapter of my life, because it reminds me that life is finite.

      More and more I’m encouraged to separate friendship from work and training. On the mat, friendship for me takes the form of a common passion for the sport and the agreement that we are going to kick each other’s ass because we care 😉


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